1 00:00:01,375 --> 00:00:04,375 -ALEX MORAN, ANOTHER 2 00:00:01,375 --> 00:00:04,375 GREAT GAME TODAY. 3 00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:08,377 WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE THE NEW 4 00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:08,377 GOLDEN BOY OF BMS FOOTBALL? 5 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:11,707 -GOLDEN BOY, I LIKE 6 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:11,707 THE SOUND OF THAT. 7 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,670 IT'S PRETTY GREAT. 8 00:00:12,709 --> 00:00:14,249 AND NOT A LOT TO 9 00:00:12,709 --> 00:00:14,249 COMPLAIN ABOUT. 10 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,791 -I DON'T HAVE A LOT TO COMPLAIN 11 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,791 ABOUT EITHER AS THE GOLDEN BOY. 12 00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:19,004 -THAD, A PRETTY SHAKY 13 00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:19,004 START TO THE SEASON. 14 00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:21,331 THINGS SEEM TO HAVE 15 00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:21,331 TURNED AROUND NOW. 16 00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:22,955 WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE 17 00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:22,955 KEY TO GETTING THIS 18 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,040 TEAM BACK ON TRACK? 19 00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:26,463 -I THINK THE KEY REALLY 20 00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:26,463 LIES IN THE-- 21 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,420 -YEAH, WE JUST GOT TIRED 22 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,420 OF LOSING, PHIL. 23 00:00:28,458 --> 00:00:30,378 I MEAN WE JUST DECIDED 24 00:00:28,458 --> 00:00:30,378 WE WANTED TO START 25 00:00:30,417 --> 00:00:31,877 KICKING SOME ASS AGAIN. 26 00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:33,127 IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT. 27 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,706 -I DON'T THINK IT'S REALLY 28 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,706 THAT SIMPLE, PHIL. 29 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,210 SEE YOU-- 30 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,880 -WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ALL 31 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,880 YOUR FANS OUT THERE, ALEX? 32 00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:41,377 -PARTY AT THE GOAT HOUSE. 33 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:42,577 BE THERE. 34 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:42,577 AND YOU TOO, PHIL. 35 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,325 I MEAN I KNOW A COUPLE 36 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,325 OF CHEERLEADERS 37 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:46,375 WHO WOULD JUST LOVE YOU. 38 00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,167 -SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, 39 00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,167 FROM THE STAR OF THE 40 00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:49,878 BMS FOOTBALL TEAM. 41 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,667 I GUESS I KNOW WHERE 42 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,667 I'LL BE TONIGHT. 43 00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:53,789 BACK TO YOU AT THE-- 44 00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:55,384 -WAIT. 45 00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:57,707 I HAVE SOMETHING SUPER IMPORTANT 46 00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:57,707 TO SAY ALL MY FANS 47 00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:59,000 OUT THERE WATCHING. 48 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,416 BACK TO YOU AT THE STATION. 49 00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:10,881 [WHISTLE] 50 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,463 [ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH" 51 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,463 PLAYS ] 52 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:14,710 CAN YOU FEEL THAT? 53 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,380 YOU BETTER HOLD ON. 54 00:01:19,417 --> 00:01:21,537 THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY. 55 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,958 ♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪ 56 00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:25,291 ♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪ 57 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:26,213 ♪ HELL, YEAH ♪ 58 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,170 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪ 59 00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:29,628 ♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪ 60 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:31,877 ♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪ 61 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,377 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪ 62 00:01:33,417 --> 00:01:34,917 ♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪ 63 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,580 ♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪ 64 00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:39,915 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪ 65 00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,417 -OK, READY LIFT. 66 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:51,877 -OH, MY GOD. 67 00:01:51,917 --> 00:01:52,877 IT'S BEAUTIFUL 68 00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:54,287 -WHAT IS THAT? 69 00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:55,543 -IT'S CALLED VAJAZZLING. 70 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,753 IT'S LIKE BEDAZZLING BUT 71 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,753 FOR YOUR VAGINA. 72 00:01:57,792 --> 00:01:59,462 IT'S REALLY BIG IN THE 73 00:01:57,792 --> 00:01:59,462 LEZZIE COMMUNITY. 74 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,250 THIS LITTLE SLUT DOESN'T KNOW 75 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,250 I'M ALIVE, SO I VAJAZZLE TO 76 00:02:02,291 --> 00:02:03,291 GET HER ATTENTION. 77 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:04,583 HOT, RIGHT? 78 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,575 -I WANT IT. 79 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,575 WHERE CAN I GET IT? 80 00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:11,785 -WELL, ACTUALLY I DID IT MY-- 81 00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:11,785 -MY BROTHER SAMMY DID IT. 82 00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:14,964 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT SHE 83 00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:14,964 WAS ABOUT TO SAY. 84 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,750 I AM AN AMAZING VAJAZZLER, 85 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,750 RIGHT, MARY JO? 86 00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:21,002 -YEP. 87 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,291 SECRET'S OUT. 88 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,173 SAMMY'S THE BEST VAJAZZLER 89 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,173 ALIVE. 90 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:25,458 -I WANT TO GO FIRST. 91 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,330 -I'M SECOND. 92 00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:27,495 -OK. 93 00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:28,792 RELAX, EVERYONE'S GOING 94 00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:28,792 TO GET THEIR TURN. 95 00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:30,084 HELLO, GIRLS. 96 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:35,541 [CROWD CHEERING] 97 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:35,541 PHIL, PHIL, PHIL. 98 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,043 -YEAH, PHIL. 99 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,333 YEAH. 100 00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,502 PHIL, PHIL, PHIL. 101 00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:46,252 HEY, BUDDY COME CHILLAX 102 00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:46,252 WITH ME OVER HERE. 103 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,831 I'M REAL HAPPY ABOUT ALL THE 104 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,831 ATTENTION YOU'VE BEEN GETTING 105 00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:49,825 LATELY, BRO BEANS. 106 00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:51,245 I THINK IT'S A LONG 107 00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:51,245 TIME COMING. 108 00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:54,921 -WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THERE'S 109 00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:54,921 MORE TO THAT STATEMENT? 110 00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:58,539 -BEING A STAR IN THIS 111 00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:58,539 TOWN, NOT EASY. 112 00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:02,253 TRUST ME, I KNOW. 113 00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:07,211 LOOK, I SEE YOU MAKING ROOKIE 114 00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:07,211 MISTAKES, AND I WANT TO HELP. 115 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:08,170 -OH. 116 00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:10,918 -LET ME SHOW YOU THE WAY. 117 00:03:10,959 --> 00:03:12,709 -ALEX, THERE YOU ARE. 118 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:15,040 I'D REALLY LOVE TO SEE 119 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:15,040 WHERE YOU SLEEP. 120 00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:17,043 -OK. 121 00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,003 HERE. 122 00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:19,881 YEAH, LET'S GO. 123 00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:20,827 WE'RE UPSTAIRS. 124 00:03:20,875 --> 00:03:22,455 -DON'T BE STUPID, MORAN. 125 00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:29,460 -SO I'M THINKING OF GIVING YOU 126 00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:29,460 AN EAGLE WITH TOPAZ WINGS. 127 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,540 I THINK THE TOPAZ WILL BRING 128 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,540 OUT YOUR THIGHS. 129 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:35,213 -I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE 130 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:35,213 REALLY EXCITED OR REALLY 131 00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,210 DISTURBED BY THIS. 132 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,540 -WELL, GUESS WHICH ONE I AM. 133 00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:41,633 BUSINESS IS A-BOOMING. 134 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,497 -I WAS WONDERING IF WE 135 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,497 COULD USE YOUR CLOSET 136 00:03:43,542 --> 00:03:44,332 FOR A LITTLE BIT. 137 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,705 -MI CLOSET ES SU CLOSET. 138 00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:49,250 -OK, 139 00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:49,250 -SPANISH. 140 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:53,291 -SO, AS, AS FAR AS CLOSETS 141 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:53,291 GO, HIS IS REALLY NICE. 142 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,213 IT IS. 143 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,750 -CONDOMS. LET'S SEE THEM. 144 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:57,082 -EXCUSE ME? 145 00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:59,035 -LET WE SEE THE CONDOM YOU 146 00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:59,035 PLAN ON PUTTING ON MY 147 00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:00,383 QUARTERBACK'S WEENIE. 148 00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:05,792 -SORRY. 149 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,670 OH, MY GOD. 150 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,249 -AH, YES. 151 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,249 -HOLY SHIT. 152 00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:15,631 -JUST PUT A BABY IN ME PLEASE. 153 00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:15,631 -OH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 154 00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:16,877 -I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU. 155 00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:16,877 -OH, GOOD. 156 00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:17,957 -WE COULD HAVE A REALLY 157 00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:17,957 GREAT LIFE TOGETHER. 158 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,670 -ZIP IT, PSYCHO. 159 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:22,209 FIND ANOTHER FAMOUS PERSON'S 160 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:22,209 LIFE TO RUIN. 161 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,460 GET OUT. 162 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:26,790 GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. 163 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,674 -JESUS. 164 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:31,629 -WORLD'S A DANGEROUS 165 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:31,629 PLACE, MORAN. 166 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,417 -YEAH. 167 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,417 -UNTIL YOU LEARN HOW 168 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,417 TO LIVE IN IT. 169 00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:36,038 -FINE. 170 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,083 WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO KNOW? 171 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:38,995 HUH? 172 00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:40,961 -MEET ME AT THE DINER 173 00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:40,961 TOMORROW MORNING. 174 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,500 -ROOM SERVICE. 175 00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:52,125 MMM, I CLEAN YOUR 176 00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:52,125 ROOM FOR YOU. 177 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:53,286 -HONEY, THIS IS NOT 178 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:53,286 A GOOD TIME. 179 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,503 I'M TRYING TO GET SOME 180 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,503 STUFF DONE HERE. 181 00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:58,462 -OH, BUT YOU'VE BEEN SUCH 182 00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:58,462 A BUSY, BUSY BOY. 183 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:02,380 I CLEAN YOUR DESK FOR YOU. 184 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:05,627 -WE'VE DONE THIS FRENCH MAID 185 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:05,627 THING LIKE 400 TIMES. 186 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,627 -ALL RIGHT, WELL, DID YOU HAVE 187 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,627 SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND? 188 00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:11,667 HOW ABOUT LOST HIKER 189 00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:11,667 AND GRIZZLY BEAR? 190 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,329 -WE DID THAT IN THE POCONOS. 191 00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:14,375 -STRANDED MERMAID? 192 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:15,827 -HAWAII 2002. 193 00:05:15,875 --> 00:05:18,875 -OH, NOW YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK? 194 00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:21,167 YOU KNOW WHAT? 195 00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:21,167 WELL, WE NEED TO FIGURE 196 00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:21,167 SOMETHING OUT BECAUSE I KNOW 197 00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:22,578 HOW BORED WE BOTH GET. 198 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,665 ANY IDEAS? 199 00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:25,829 -I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY? 200 00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:26,995 I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION. 201 00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:28,331 YEAH, EXACTLY. 202 00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:38,711 -WHAT'S UP? 203 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,420 -WHAT'S UP IS YOU JUST BROKE 204 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,420 TWO RULES OF BEING FAMOUS 205 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,328 WALKING IN HERE, AND YOU 206 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,328 DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. 207 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,875 -LIKE WHAT? 208 00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:46,707 -NUMBER ONE, YOU SHOWED UP ON 209 00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:46,707 TIME, NUMBER TWO, YOU DIDN'T 210 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,750 ANNOUNCE YOURSELF WHEN 211 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,750 YOU WALKED IN. 212 00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:51,292 HOW ELSE ARE PEOPLE GOING TO 213 00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:51,292 KNOW TO APPLAUD YOU IF THEY 214 00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:51,292 DON'T KNOW YOU'RE HERE? 215 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,083 -ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ORDER? 216 00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:55,705 -HEY, SWEET TITS, I'LL HAVE 217 00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:55,705 THE THAD CASTLE SANDWICH, 218 00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:55,705 EXTRA MAYO. 219 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,210 -SWEET TITS, THAT'S 220 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,210 A GOOD ONE. 221 00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,040 AND FOR YOU, ALEX? 222 00:05:58,083 --> 00:05:59,383 -HE'LL HAVE NOTHING. 223 00:05:59,417 --> 00:06:01,377 THANKS, SWEET TITS. 224 00:06:01,417 --> 00:06:02,627 PEOPLE LIKE NICKNAMES. 225 00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:04,497 -WHAT THE HELL? 226 00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:04,497 I'M STARVING, MAN. 227 00:06:04,542 --> 00:06:06,832 -RULE NUMBER FOUR, REFUSE TO 228 00:06:04,542 --> 00:06:06,832 ORDER A SANDWICH UNLESS IT'S 229 00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:07,915 NAMED AFTER YOU. 230 00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,419 RULE NUMBER FIVE, STARS 231 00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,419 EAT FOR FREE. 232 00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:11,748 FOLLOW MY LEAD. 233 00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:20,042 HEY, CHIEF, HOW'S THAT 234 00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:20,042 SANDWICH TASTING. 235 00:06:20,083 --> 00:06:21,213 -IT'S DELICIOUS. 236 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,830 -GOOD. 237 00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:23,705 -WHAT ARE-- 238 00:06:26,959 --> 00:06:28,129 -DIG IN BRO BEANS. 239 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:30,786 -I THINK I'LL PASS. 240 00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:33,924 -HEY, TONY, YOUR AU JUS 241 00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:33,924 NEEDS MORE SALT. 242 00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:36,499 -HEY, GUYS, MIND SIGNING 243 00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:36,499 MY KIDS' SHIRTS? 244 00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:37,582 -YEAH, SURE THING. 245 00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:39,205 -NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 246 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,420 LESSON NUMBER SIX, MORAN, 247 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,420 NEVER SIGN ANYTHING. 248 00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:42,828 PEOPLE DON'T WANT 249 00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:42,828 YOUR AUTOGRAPH. 250 00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:44,535 THEY JUST WANT SOMETHING 251 00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:44,535 THEY CAN SELL. 252 00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:46,753 -SHE'S 10. 253 00:06:46,792 --> 00:06:48,542 -I DON'T CARE HOW OLD SHE IS. 254 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:50,833 WOMEN ARE DANGEROUS. 255 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,535 -YES, I WILL. 256 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,535 -NO, NO. 257 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,713 NO, DON'T. 258 00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,380 DON'T 259 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:56,287 -THANKS. 260 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,673 HERE, THIS IS FOR YOU. 261 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:58,999 -OH, THANK YOU. 262 00:06:59,041 --> 00:06:59,921 THAT'S GREAT. 263 00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:02,169 I LOVE IT. 264 00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:03,458 -WALK WITH ME. 265 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000 -WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAD? 266 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:08,251 THAT'S A TIP JAR. 267 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,251 -I'M NOT DOING THIS 268 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,251 FOR ME, MORAN. 269 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:11,581 I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU. 270 00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:15,075 AS FOR YOU SWEET TITS, IF 271 00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:15,075 YOU'RE SMART YOU'LL PAY 272 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:20,875 ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS 273 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:20,875 IS YOUR TRAINING DAY. 274 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,207 THAD CASTLE IS LEAVING 275 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,207 THE DINER. 276 00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:26,080 [APPLAUSE] 277 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:33,043 -AH SMELL THAT AIR, MORAN. 278 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:35,003 IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE FAMOUS. 279 00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:37,751 -CAN WE HURRY THE LESSONS 280 00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:37,751 UP PLEASE? 281 00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,292 -PATIENCE, MY YOUNG 282 00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,292 APPRENTICE. 283 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,543 -STOP CALLING ME APPRENTICE. 284 00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:46,253 -LESSON 15, MORAN, SOME COPS IN 285 00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:46,253 THIS TOWN WILL DO ANYTHING 286 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:49,421 FOR FOOTBALL STARS. 287 00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:51,208 -WHY? 288 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:55,380 -BECAUSE THEY WANT TO 289 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:55,380 HANG OUT WITH US. 290 00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,917 REALLY APPRECIATE YOU LETTING US 291 00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,917 DO THIS AGAIN, THERE BILLY. 292 00:07:58,959 --> 00:08:01,129 MORAN WAS REALLY JONESING 293 00:07:58,959 --> 00:08:01,129 FOR A HIT OF NITROUS. 294 00:08:01,166 --> 00:08:02,376 -ANYTIME, MAN. 295 00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:04,327 SO YOU WANT TO HANG THIS 296 00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:04,327 WEEKEND OR SOMETHING? 297 00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:06,915 -AH, GOT A GAME, MAN, I CAN'T. 298 00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:09,169 BUT I DO HAVE A COUPLE SPEEDING 299 00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:09,169 TICKETS I NEED TAKEN CARE OF? 300 00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,708 -YEAH, SURE THING, THAD. 301 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,830 AND WE COULD HANG 302 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,830 MAYBE MID-WEEK? 303 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:15,495 -NO, I GOT A COUPLE TESTS 304 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:15,495 AND WHATEVER. 305 00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:17,132 UH, YOU HAVE ANY TICKETS 306 00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:17,132 OR WARRANTS YOU 307 00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:18,916 NEED TAKEN CARE OF? 308 00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,209 -I GOT A DRUNK AND DISORDERLY. 309 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,500 -NOT ANY MORE YOU DON'T. 310 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,500 -REALLY? 311 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,672 -CONSIDER IT TAKEN CARE OF. 312 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:23,669 -THANKS, MAN. 313 00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:24,539 -NO PROBLEM. 314 00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:25,833 HEY, YOU WANT TO TRY MY GUN? 315 00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:27,625 -YEAH, SURE. 316 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,417 -WE REALLY GOT TO GET 317 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,417 GOING, MAN, BUT THANKS 318 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,417 AGAIN FOR THE NITROUS. 319 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:34,998 -YOU TAKE CARE, MR. CASTLE, AND, 320 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:34,998 UH, DON'T BE A STRANGER. 321 00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:36,291 YOU, TOO, MR. MORAN. 322 00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:37,963 -YEAH, WE'LL HANG SOON. 323 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000 -UH, PROBABLY NOT. 324 00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,961 SEE YOU AROUND BRO BEANS. 325 00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:42,831 -WHAT? 326 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,634 -THIS VAJAZZLING STUFF 327 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,634 IS AMAZING. 328 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,997 EVERY TIME I BEND OVER IN A 329 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,997 SKIRT I'M ATTRACTING A WHOLE 330 00:08:49,041 --> 00:08:50,541 NEW ECHELON OF GUYS. 331 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,673 -WELL, THERE'S PLENTY MORE 332 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,673 WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 333 00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:54,629 I JUST BOUGHT SOME 334 00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:54,629 GOOGLY EYES. 335 00:08:54,667 --> 00:09:00,457 I'M STARTING TO THINK OUTSIDE 336 00:08:54,667 --> 00:09:00,457 THE BOX, PUN INTENDED. 337 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,920 -SHE'S HERE. 338 00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:05,499 -COACH'S WIFE? 339 00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:07,382 -SHE'S THE WHOLE REASON I GOT 340 00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:07,382 VAJAZZLED IN THE FIRST PLACE. 341 00:09:07,417 --> 00:09:10,377 SHE CAME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 342 00:09:07,417 --> 00:09:10,377 BY ALEX. 343 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,247 OK. 344 00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:14,211 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 345 00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:20,921 OOPSY. 346 00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:24,749 I'M SO CLUMSY. 347 00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:26,792 -I'LL PICK IT UP. 348 00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:33,963 -OH, MY GOD. 349 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,670 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 350 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,959 -IT'S VAJAZZLING. 351 00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:40,248 -I WANT IT. 352 00:09:40,291 --> 00:09:41,541 -THAT'S FUNNY. 353 00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:43,963 I HAPPEN TO BE A WORLD 354 00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:43,963 CLASS VAJAZZLER. 355 00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:49,462 [LOW VOICE] -YOU KNOW, THAT COP 356 00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:49,462 THING IS THE FIRST USEFUL 357 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,630 THING YOU TAUGHT ME ALL DAY. 358 00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:53,787 HE WAS GOING TO HAND 359 00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:53,787 ME HIS GUN. 360 00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:56,754 -I KNOW, RIGHT? 361 00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:56,754 [LAUGHING] 362 00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:58,752 -SO WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 363 00:09:58,792 --> 00:09:59,922 LET ME GUESS. 364 00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:02,039 FREE PILLS. 365 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:08,383 -I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU 366 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:08,383 WAITING, MR. MORAN. 367 00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:09,877 -PRESENT. 368 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,787 -RIGHT, WELL, I'M DR. RYAN, AND 369 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,787 I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THIS 370 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,794 IS A SAFE AND SIMPLE 371 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,794 PROCEDURE. 372 00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,714 -WHAT, WHAT PROCEDURE? 373 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:18,380 -WELL, THAD HERE TELLS ME YOU'RE 374 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:18,380 INTERESTED IN GETTING 375 00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:19,247 A UH, VASECTOMY? 376 00:10:24,834 --> 00:10:26,084 -REALLY? 377 00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,459 -I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE 378 00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,459 SO UPSET, MORAN. 379 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,460 VASECTOMIES ARE A NECESSARY 380 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,460 EVIL IN THE WORLD OF 381 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,710 SUPERSTARDOM. 382 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:36,960 I GOT MINE STRAIGHT OUT 383 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:36,960 OF HIGH SCHOOL. 384 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,130 -I'M NOT GETTING A VASECTOMY. 385 00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:42,166 -THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH MORE MONEY 386 00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:42,166 ANTONIO CROMARTIE WOULD 387 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,538 HAVE IF HE WOULD HAVE GOT HIS 388 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,538 BALLS SNIPPED STRAIGHT OUT OF 389 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,538 HIGH SCHOOL. 390 00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:46,383 -COULD YOU JUST TAKE 391 00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:46,383 ME HOME, RIGHT NOW. 392 00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:47,707 PLEASE, I'M DONE WITH THIS. 393 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:49,130 -ALL RIGHT. 394 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,996 TAKE A CHILL PILL. 395 00:10:52,041 --> 00:10:56,131 WE JUST HAVE ONE MORE 396 00:10:52,041 --> 00:10:56,131 STOP TO MAKE. 397 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,376 -HMM, I MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT? 398 00:10:58,417 --> 00:10:59,957 I KNOW HIM TOO WELL. 399 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,380 HE GETS BORED EASILY. 400 00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:04,077 AND BUT SO DO I. YOU 401 00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:04,077 KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. 402 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:06,995 GUYS ALWAYS THINK THEY'RE THE 403 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:06,995 ONLY ONES WHO STRUGGLE WITH 404 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,961 BEING FAITHFUL, BUT 405 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,961 WE DO, TOO. 406 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,540 -SOMETIMES ALL IT TAKES IS A 407 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,540 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY RIGHT IN 408 00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:15,753 FRONT OF YOU. 409 00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:18,042 -OR AN OPPORTUNITY 410 00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:18,042 WITH A PULSE. 411 00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:20,963 LAST TIME HE CHEATED WE'D BEEN 412 00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:20,963 BUSY, NEGLECTED OUR SEX LIFE. 413 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,420 I MEAN HE NEEDS TO BE EXCITED. 414 00:11:23,458 --> 00:11:27,578 -WELL, HE'LL DEFINITELY 415 00:11:23,458 --> 00:11:27,578 BE EXCITED BY THIS. 416 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,750 -IT'S AMAZING. 417 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,462 -IT'S A GOAL POST. I THOUGHT 418 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,462 HE'D APPRECIATE THE METAPHOR. 419 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,210 -OH, MY GOD, IF THERE'S ANYTHING 420 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,210 I CAN DO TO THANK 421 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:38,580 YOU, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. 422 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:41,995 -WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION 423 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:41,995 IT, THERE IS ONE THING. 424 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,293 -THIS IS AWESOME. 425 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,543 -THE GUY WHO RUNS THIS 426 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:02,543 PLACE IS SUPREMELY 427 00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,003 IMPORTANT TO YOUR NEW LIFE. 428 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,541 HE CAN GET YOU ANYTHING YOU 429 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,541 WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT IT. 430 00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,543 -I LIKE THAT. 431 00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:11,833 -WOW, ALEX MORAN, WELCOME. 432 00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:12,915 -NICE TO MEET YOU. 433 00:12:12,959 --> 00:12:14,829 -YEAH, I'M FINN. 434 00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,705 -WHOA, HEY. 435 00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:17,750 -YOU NEED A DRINK. 436 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,132 -SURE. 437 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,132 -LADIES, HURRY UP, HURRY UP. 438 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:22,076 LADIES, THIS IS ALEX MORAN. 439 00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,455 ALEX, THESE ARE MY 440 00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,455 CANDY GIRLS. 441 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,330 THEY GOT ALL THE 442 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,330 CANDY YOU WANT, 443 00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:26,995 DRUGS, BLOW JOBS, WAFFLES. 444 00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:28,711 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 445 00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:28,711 YOU FEELING ME, HUH? 446 00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:28,711 YOU GETTING ME? 447 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:31,250 -ABSOLUTELY 448 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,631 -AND THIS IS FOR YOU, MY MAN. 449 00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:35,377 -OH, THANKS, FINN. 450 00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:36,747 -HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE MONEY? 451 00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:39,082 -FINN PAYS ME TO MAKE 452 00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:39,082 APPEARANCES AT HIS CLUB, YOU 453 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,495 KNOW, TO DRUM UP PUBLICITY 454 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,495 AND STUFF. 455 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:41,752 -OH. 456 00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:43,002 -HE'D PAY YOU, TOO, IF 457 00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:43,002 YOU COME HERE ENOUGH. 458 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:46,211 -OH, OH, I'M GOING TO BE 459 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:46,211 COMING HERE A LOT. 460 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,790 -ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GOING TO 461 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,790 HIT THE OLD PEE-PEE CLOSET. 462 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:52,584 BOND BROS, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 463 00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:54,075 -OK. 464 00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:59,035 -IN HERE ALL THE START OF BMS 465 00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:59,035 GET SPECIAL TREATMENT, VIP 466 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:00,173 BABY, ALL THE WAY. 467 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:01,288 -OH, OK. 468 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:01,288 YEAH. 469 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,133 -HEY, CHECK IT OUT. 470 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,956 -COACH? 471 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,290 -LISTEN, MY OFFICE 472 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,290 IS IN THE BACK. 473 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,713 I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU AROUND. 474 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,713 COME ON. 475 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:09,580 -OK, YEAH. 476 00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,995 THANKS, MAN, I MEAN 477 00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,995 FOR EVERYTHING. 478 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:15,751 THIS IS, THIS IS AWESOME. 479 00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:17,002 -NO PROBLEM. 480 00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:18,501 YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND NOW, 481 00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:18,501 A SPECIAL FRIEND. 482 00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:19,792 -YEAH. 483 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,000 -ALL RIGHT. 484 00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:28,633 -SORRY WE'RE LATE. 485 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,417 -NO, NO WORRIES. 486 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,417 COME ON, COME ON IN. 487 00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:31,748 LET'S GO. 488 00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:34,212 ALEX, THESE ARE THE ACTORS 489 00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:34,212 YOU'LL BE WORKING WITH. 490 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,500 -GREAT TO MEET YOU. 491 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,500 BIG FAN, HUGE. 492 00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:38,132 -WORKING ON WHAT? 493 00:13:38,166 --> 00:13:40,036 -A SEXY TAPE. 494 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:41,543 -A SEXY WHAT? 495 00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:43,423 -WHEN FINN TOLD ME I WAS GOING 496 00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:43,423 TO WORK WITH ALEX MORAN, I 497 00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:47,878 SPLOOGED IN MY PANTS, 498 00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:47,878 LITERALLY. 499 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,207 -YOU'VE GOT NOTHING 500 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,207 TO WORRY ABOUT. 501 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:52,630 THIS IS GOING TO BE FIRST 502 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:52,630 CLASS ALL THE WAY, BABY. 503 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,667 GOLDEN BOY ALEX MORAN AND 504 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,667 ANOTHER TEAMMATE DOUBLE 505 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,669 TEAMING A CHEERLEADER 506 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,669 ON THE COACH'S DESK. 507 00:13:57,709 --> 00:13:59,499 CAN YOU SAY VIRUS? 508 00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:00,332 -VIRAL. 509 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,075 IT'S VIRAL, FINN. 510 00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:03,745 -WHY DON'T YOU WORRY 511 00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:03,745 ABOUT STAYING HARD 512 00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:05,882 IN THE SCENE, RICKY? 513 00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:07,167 -I'M GOING TO GO, YOU KNOW? 514 00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:08,668 HEY, THANKS FOR THE BEER 515 00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:08,668 AND EVERYTHING. 516 00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:09,629 IT'S BEEN-- 517 00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:11,627 -WELL, I DON'T THINK 518 00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:11,627 SO, MORAN. 519 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:15,077 I PAID YOUR FRIEND THAD $1,000 520 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:15,077 FOR YOU, AND HE SAID YOU'D BE 521 00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:17,415 COOL WITH IT. 522 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:20,708 -HE SAID YOU PAID HIM FOR 523 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:20,708 AN APPEARANCE HERE. 524 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:22,000 HE'S GOING TO COME OUT 525 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:22,000 OF THE BATHROOM. 526 00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,041 HE'S GOING TO GIVE YOU ALL 527 00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,041 THE MONEY BACK, OK? 528 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,383 IT'S GOING TO BE FINE. 529 00:14:24,792 --> 00:14:25,752 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 530 00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:31,001 -LESSON 54, MORAN, DON'T 531 00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:31,001 EVER TALK OVER ME IN 532 00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:32,251 AN INTERVIEW AGAIN. 533 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,747 -HOLY SHIT. 534 00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:40,042 -LIKE THIS, FINN? 535 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,210 -THE KEY TO MAKING A GOOD 536 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,210 SEXY TAPE, MORAN, IS TO 537 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,630 HAVE FUN WITH IT. 538 00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:52,417 -HEY, FINN, THERE'S GOT TO BE 539 00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:52,417 SOMETHING ELSE I CAN DO. 540 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,628 YOU KNOW, ANYTHING. 541 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,247 I MEAN I'LL, I'LL DOUBLE 542 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,247 YOUR MONEY. 543 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:58,291 -STOP FIGHTING IT, AND 544 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:58,291 ENJOY YOURSELF. 545 00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,923 OK, AND CAMERA'S ROLLING. 546 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,458 BE A STAR. 547 00:15:13,792 --> 00:15:15,132 -HEY, HEY, HEY, HOLD IT. 548 00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:15,996 CUT. 549 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:17,831 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 550 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,205 -WHAT THIS? 551 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,420 A LITTLE GIRL GAVE IT TO ME 552 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,420 AT A DINER THIS MORNING. 553 00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:23,748 -MY NIECE MAKES THESE 554 00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:23,748 BRACELETS. 555 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,132 -OH, WELL IT MUST HAVE 556 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,132 BEEN HER THEN. 557 00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:28,576 I MEAN, I SIGNED HER JERSEY AND 558 00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:28,576 SHE GAVE ME THIS BRACELET, 559 00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:30,165 SORT OF LIKE A THANK YOU. 560 00:15:30,208 --> 00:15:35,498 -YOU BETTER NOT BE LYING TO ME, 561 00:15:30,208 --> 00:15:35,498 OR I SWEAR TO GOD YOU'LL DIE. 562 00:15:35,542 --> 00:15:36,422 -I'M, I'M NOT LYING. 563 00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:37,708 IT-- 564 00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:40,748 -HEY, IT'S UNCLE FINN. 565 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:43,502 HEY, YEAH, PUT MAYA 566 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:43,502 ON THE PHONE. 567 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:46,542 HEY, MAYA, DID YOU GIVE OUT ANY 568 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:46,542 BRACELETS THIS MORNING? 569 00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:49,173 -MM-HMM. 570 00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:50,958 -OH, HE DIDN'T? 571 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,290 -OH, I DID. 572 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:53,673 -YEAH, GOOD GIRL. 573 00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:54,999 YEAH, LOVE YOU, TOO. 574 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,630 MAYA SAYS YOU'RE TELLING 575 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,630 THE TRUTH. 576 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,787 -OH, GOOD. 577 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,787 -SHE ALSO SAID YOUR FRIEND 578 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,787 THAD REFUSED TO SIGN HER 579 00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,294 BROTHER'S JERSEY. 580 00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:05,294 IS THIS TRUE? 581 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:09,673 -YES, HE APPARENTLY ONLY LIKES 582 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:09,673 TO SIGN TITTIES, SO-- 583 00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:13,329 -WELL, A MAN THAT'S SHOWN THIS 584 00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:13,329 MUCH KINDNESS TO MY FAMILY I 585 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,995 CANNOT FORCE TO MAKE 586 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,995 A SEXY TAPE. 587 00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,831 YOU'RE FREE TO GO. 588 00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:21,325 -HEY, ALL RIGHT. 589 00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:22,495 THANKS. 590 00:16:22,542 --> 00:16:24,332 -HEY, I'M GOING TO GO 591 00:16:22,542 --> 00:16:24,332 OVER HERE, FINN. 592 00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:25,665 WE'VE GOT THE LIGHTS. 593 00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:27,169 WE'VE GOT THE GIRL. 594 00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:29,458 I'M HARD AS A ROCK. 595 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,080 -FINN, UM, I'LL MAKE 596 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,080 IT UP TO YOU. 597 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,075 ALL RIGHT? 598 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,205 I'LL HELP YOU GET 599 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,205 THAT SEXY TAPE. 600 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,500 MARK MY WORDS. 601 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:42,000 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ALEX MORAN 602 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:42,000 HAS ENTERED THE DINER. 603 00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:45,331 [APPLAUSE] 604 00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:46,625 -SMILE. 605 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,416 -SO DID YOU LEARN YOUR 606 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,416 LESSON, MORAN? 607 00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:55,378 -LESSON? 608 00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,207 OH, THAT THING AT THE CLUB. 609 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,710 YEAH, THAT WAS FINE. 610 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,830 YEAH, SO, FINN DIDN'T WANT ME TO 611 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,830 SAY ANYTHING, BUT HE'S GOT 612 00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:05,705 THIS CHECKLIST OF THINGS HE 613 00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:05,705 WANTS TO DO BEFORE HE DIES. 614 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:09,960 AND APPARENTLY MAKING A SEXY 615 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:09,960 TAPE WITH THE GOLDEN BOY OF 616 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,960 BMS FOOTBALL WAS ON 617 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,960 THAT LIST. 618 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,460 -SHUT UP. 619 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,750 HE DID NOT CALL YOU THE FREAKING 620 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,750 GOLDEN BOY OF BMS. 621 00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,082 -HI, ALEX. 622 00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,082 -HI. 623 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,035 -HI, IS THERE ANYTHING 624 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,035 I CAN GET YOU? 625 00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:21,583 -YEAH, LET ME GET, UH, A 626 00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:21,583 ALEX MORAN SANDWICH. 627 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,165 HOLD THE MAYO, PLEASE. 628 00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:25,748 -YOU PUT MY NAME BACK 629 00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:25,748 ON THAT MENU. 630 00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:28,882 -OH, SORRY, SWEET TITS, 631 00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:28,882 TIMES ARE CHANGING. 632 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,537 AND THIS IS FOR YOU. 633 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,543 IT'S YOUR TAB FOR THE 634 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,543 LAST THREE YEARS. 635 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:35,583 TONY'S EXPECTING PAYMENT 636 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:35,583 BY THE END OF THE WEEK. 637 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,415 -ALEX, I'M REALLY SORRY TO 638 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,415 BOTHER YOU, BUT I WOULD LOVE 639 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,748 FOR YOU TO EAT THE REST 640 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,748 OF MY SANDWICH. 641 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,582 -OH, THANK YOU. 642 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:42,745 -WHAT IS HAPPENING? 643 00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,252 FINE. 644 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:47,331 I'LL SIGN YOUR STUPID SON'S 645 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:47,331 THAD CASTLE JERSEY, GOSH. 646 00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,538 -HEY, COULD YOU TELL TONY 647 00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,538 THE AU JUST IS PERFECT. 648 00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,213 THANKS FOR ADDING 649 00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,213 THE SEA SALT. 650 00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:57,330 -NO, DON'T. 651 00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:59,075 DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. 652 00:17:59,125 --> 00:18:01,495 I'M THE STAR OF BMS FOOTBALL. 653 00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:02,582 I DEMAND RESPECT. 654 00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,415 -OH, HOW SAD. 655 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,918 HE CAN'T LET GO KIDS. 656 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,379 -SHUT UP. 657 00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:08,207 SHUT UP. 658 00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:11,580 I HATE YOU ALL. 659 00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:16,665 THAD CASTLE IS LEAVING 660 00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:16,665 THE DINER. 661 00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:20,499 I'M LEAVING NOW. 662 00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:22,002 -AWW. 663 00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:24,461 [LAUGHING] 664 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,290 -THANK YOU. 665 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,173 THAT WAS PERFECT, GUYS. 666 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,958 AND THAT'S WHAT THE BASTARD 667 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,958 GETS FOR STEALING MY TIPS. 668 00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:39,793 -EXCUSE ME. 669 00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:41,084 -WHAT'S HAPPENING? 670 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,960 -HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 671 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,500 -YOUR BROTHER SAYS HE'S RETIRED 672 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,500 FROM VAJAZZLING. 673 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,382 I HAVE A THREE-HEADED 674 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,382 DRAGON DOWN THERE. 675 00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:53,997 IT REQUIRES SERIOUS 676 00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:53,997 MAINTENANCE. 677 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 -WHAT'S GOING ON? 678 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:08,331 -THEY'RE ANIMALS, MARY JO. 679 00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:10,785 I CAN'T LOOK AT ANOTHER 680 00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:10,785 VAGINA. 681 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:14,504 I DON'T EVEN GET BONERS ANYMORE 682 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:14,504 WHEN I LOOK AT ONE. 683 00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:15,752 -WOW. 684 00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:18,672 -NOW I KNOW HOW GYNECOLOGISTS 685 00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:18,672 MUST FEEL. 686 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:21,579 -WELL, IT WAS FUN 687 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:21,579 WHILE IT LASTED. 688 00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:23,035 AND AT LEAST ONE OF US 689 00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:23,035 GOT WHAT THEY WANTED. 690 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,460 -OH, MY GOD. 691 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:40,380 IT'S, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 692 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:44,747 ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO FINISH 693 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:44,747 THIS WEEK STRONG. 694 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,632 [COUGHING] 695 00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:53,333 I WANT 100% OUT OF 696 00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:53,333 EVERYBODY THAT-- 697 00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:53,333 [COUGHING] 698 00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:55,625 -YOU ALL RIGHT, COACH? 699 00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:58,037 -BYE, SWEETHEART. 700 00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,133 I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME. 701 00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:00,576 -YOU BET YOU WILL. 702 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,831 -HEY, WHERE'S THAD? 703 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:11,245 -OH, HE HAD SOMETHING MORE 704 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:11,245 IMPORTANT TO ATTEND TO. 705 00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:16,211 -WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO IT 706 00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:16,211 IS ON COACH DANIEL'S DESK, A 707 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:17,960 TEAMMATE AND A CHEERLEADER. 708 00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:21,001 -KEEP GOING. 709 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:22,921 KEEP GOING. 710 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,209 -OH. 711 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:33,083 -THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 712 00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,955 -TELL ME I'M A STAR. 713 00:20:36,041 --> 00:20:38,131 TELL ME I'M A STAR! 714 00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,826 -YOU'RE A STAR, MAN, RELAX. 715 00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,665 -AND ACTION. 716 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,830 ♪♪